We have all acquired certain beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. Many people struggle with understanding the battle of “knowing” their parents love them, and yet deep beliefs of feeling unloved. It is too painful, almost impossible, for a young child to acknowledge that his parents love him, but not in the way he needs to be loved, that their behavior is hurtful and damaging, that they do not “see me or love me for who I really am”. 2500 years ago, Buddha said, that with our minds we create the world. Gabor Mate’ says that it is the world we lived in as children that created OUR world, or our beliefs about ourselves in the world. If you grew up in a safe home where your needs were met and you felt heard and cherished your belief in yourself and your surrounding will be positive, you can be friendly and trust others, yourself, and your environment. You can understand what is safe or risky because you trust your gut feelings.


However, if your upbringing took place in an environment marked by volatility, where you experienced insecurity, neglect, and a lack of love, your perspective on both the world and yourself could become detrimental. You may develop a belief that aggression, self-centeredness, and self-protection are necessary, given the absence of reliable support. Fear, skepticism, and unease might dominate your feelings, as you struggle to place trust in anyone, even yourself.


When your decisions as an adult are still being influenced by your inner child, and your past traumas continue to shape your choices as a grown individual, it becomes necessary to confront and challenge that youthful aspect within you. Consider this: You would never allow a six-year-old child to drive a car—it's highly irresponsible and unsafe. The likelihood of a catastrophic accident and harm is substantial. So why permit your inner child to steer your emotions, thoughts, and actions? Recognize within yourself that today, you bear complete responsibility for your life and the decisions you make. You possess the capacity to trust your accumulated life experiences and knowledge to guide you toward the right choices for yourself and your journey. Seize the wheel and take charge of your path, acknowledging the pain from the past while allowing the healing process to shape your course. Empower yourself to control both the direction of your life and your personal journey, just as you would take command of a car.



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12 Douglas Crowe Drive, Dolphin Coast, Ballito