SECRETS KEEP YOU SICK
This is a common statement that is used in recovery, but do you know what it actually means, or why we say it? Secrets create the breading ground for shame. However, the more shame you hold, the more secrets you’ll keep the worse you feel about yourself. Eventually this becomes a perpetual cycle, a trap that you can’t get out of. The only relief from the shame is to engage in some sort of distraction, unfortunately sometimes in the form of substances. This is ironic because the distraction then in itself becomes shameful. In reality, you are in your own loop of shame and no matter what you do, the shame just gets bigger and bigger and eventually you are completely lost and alone. This is what we call an “emotional rock bottom”.
However, if your upbringing took place in an environment marked by volatility, where you experienced insecurity, neglect, and a lack of love, your perspective on both the world and yourself could become detrimental. You may develop a belief that aggression, self-centeredness, and self-protection are necessary, given the absence of reliable support. Fear, skepticism, and unease might dominate your feelings, as you struggle to place trust in anyone, even yourself.
When your decisions as an adult are still being influenced by your inner child, and your past traumas continue to shape your choices as a grown individual, it becomes necessary to confront and challenge that youthful aspect within you. Consider this: You would never allow a six-year-old child to drive a car—it’s highly irresponsible and unsafe. The likelihood of a catastrophic accident and harm is substantial. So why permit your inner child to steer your emotions, thoughts, and actions? Recognize within yourself that today, you bear complete responsibility for your life and the decisions you make. You possess the capacity to trust your accumulated life experiences and knowledge to guide you toward the right choices for yourself and your journey. Seize the wheel and take charge of your path, acknowledging the pain from the past while allowing the healing process to shape your course. Empower yourself to control both the direction of your life and your personal journey, just as you would take command of a car.
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